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I’ve travelled for so long

I’ve forgotten what my own city looks like

I just keep chasing unknown infinities on unknown highways

Thinking of the time that I’ll return home,

The time I’ll get a whiff of that familiar wind

The longing to see my own house; to leave these hotel rooms behind

She knows that i have a bad case of wanderlust,

But today my heart is longing for home,

And now i understand why they say;

Home is where the heart is.

abyss

there is this one eternal abyss. everyone has fallen into this abyss at least once. this abyss is a strange one, it can’t really be defined. It’s one of the things of the world that can’t really be defined.

its not how other people defined it.

its how you choose to define it.

This abyss is not really the one which everyone can fall into effortlessly. it takes a lot of strength and courage to fall into this abyss. And the catch is, you don’t even fall into this abyss alone, you fall into this abyss together. Along with someone else who shares the same feelings as you do.

And as I transform myself from a lower-case personality to a mixed-case personality, I feel real proud. I fell into this abyss. But the other person fell out of it. and yea, it hurts, but there’s nothing I can really do.

Today as we looked up at the stars, she asked me,”forever?”

I had said,”forever.”

But, gosh, had I known then, that forever is a concept we are too young to know about.

Not just us, even the world is too young to understand what this entire word “forever” means. Forever was someone’s thought experiment. it’ll never actually change.

it’s funny how they say falling in love.

its like love is an abyss. that’s what I realised today. it is indeed an abyss. and you can’t stop falling into it. it’s the tunnel in which once you fall, you wanna fall deeper and deeper.

it’s funny cause you can’t real fall in any other feeling, like hate or sympathy.

or any other feeling actually. it’s only love you can fall into.

that’s mysterious and weird to think about. so I often do. and in thinking about it I realise so many things.

I realise that this world is an abyss too. you fall right into it. the beauty of the world surrounds you and engulfs your senses.

but often your story is about a person. and you’re ashamed to tell it. but I’m not.

my story is different,

from theirs-

so I write it down;

in the hope that someone will remember it.

my story-

is the world’s story,

so I write it down,

so the world can understand it’s feelings better.

this world,

is a canvas-

for me to paint on,

and I’ll make sure that I paint it well.

deadroses

12:23 a.m.

your memory,

is so beautiful;

that it’ll make a good story.

your memory,

is so beautiful

that it makes me smile when I’m crying.

your memory,

is bright enough;

to light up a sky full of stars.

——————————for all the arms that held me

them tears,

they light up my lashes;

and he said,

“you look beautiful when you cry.”

——————————————–for him

I’m gonna find all the lies,

break them down until I find the truth;

i’mma take the truth and lies,

mix ’em with my paintbrush,

and paint my life;

truth by truth.

lie by lie.

—————————————-my life and lies

those memories were built to last,

but we had no ground beneath our feet-

and it all came crashing down in the end.

—————————————–those smiles and tears

its sad to see how painful endings can be,

its excruciating to see how painful stories make good stories.

I’m just gaping at all the beauty that was,

nevertheless, the beauty that could be.

everything changes the moment a ‘is’ changes into a ‘was’.

———————————————ricocheting bullets

a million pieces and broken hearts,

no one wants to put it together,

the world dances to the song of this broken heart.

looking back,

all the pain fades away.

—————————————–your voice is the trigger to my thoughts

I wanna build them cities with you,

and burn them down when we’ve had our fun.

————————————————midnight extravagance.

—————tizzy

Profanities

There’s this four-dimensional world;

I don’t see the world the way you do-

Fire spreading all around my room;

Take my breath away.

The reality startles me,

The Devil’s controlling my mind-

I belong to no one,

And no one belongs to me.

This God that we preach about;

It’s as rare as four-clover-leaves.

Fake Honesty is the Gate to Hell,

Redemption is what I won’t get.

Love has made a liar out of me;

Misery rules this torn up town-

I hope you’ll remember those oaths;

Only cause maybe I know that you won’t.

Demons ruling my mind.

Everyone’s pointing their death rays at me-

I’m trying hard to ignore,

The hate directed every second.

An oath of words-

Is not as strong as

An oath of blood.

Hardcore metal blaring on my speakers,

I’m not gonna waste my feelings,

Even if it’s for you-

People aren’t people anymore;

Be my escape-

Before the cruelty decides my fate.

One last shot at redemption?

I’m giving up anything for that now.

My daisies are painted black,

I’m locked inside my mind.

The Devil’s prison.

I gotta admit that-

Satan is kinder than God.

If there’s any humanity left on this planet;

It’s in you.

I don’t know where I’m going-

But all I know is that I’m running;

Running to keep my hands on you,

Just so that you don’t go away from me-

Running with my hand in yours-

We’re renegades on the run;

With black daisies perched on our foreheads.

Vacant

We’ve seen brighter days,

We’ve seen colder suns.

We’ve seen happier smiles,

We’ve seen longer runs.

You wake up and you don’t know why.

For some reason there’s tears in your eyes-

You feel like you miss someone;

But you’re not sure whom.

You feel like everyone who was a part of your life-

Has left.

Gone, and gone forever.

You look at your pictures,

And you realize,

You miss an ‘it’ and not a ‘who’.

You miss your smile.

The smile that used to light up every corner of a room.

The smile that kept you safe.

The smile that people loved.

It’s gone.

Gone forever.

Milk and Honey

Pain is beauty;

Now that I’m out of Tartarus,

And oh, those lilac skies,

And countless infinities that lie ahead of us.

We’re preaching priests,

And fallen stars,

Give me pain, I’ll give you myrrh-

I know that you’ve seen those bleeding scars.

My love, what you said was impeccable.

Where there’s love, there’s war.

You had said you know why.

Why, eh?

But honey did you know,

That knowledge is a curse?

Thou shalt not do such.

But I will, I say, I will.

Rebellious afflictions;

Maybe one day I’ll practise what I preach.

Baby, you were milk and honey-

But did you forget that I was lactose intolerant?

Alaska Young

I want out of this abyss,

Straight and fast,

I want no pain no more-

Just straight and fast.

Out of this labyrinth

Cause I can’t fake it-

Cause I can’t take it.

I don’t believe in what-

e.e cummings did,

Nor will I ever.

Just believe in Simon Bolivar;

Straight and fast.

That’s all I want now.

Smoking cigarettes on balconies-

With that person whom I love.

No it’s not just love;

It’s excruciating love.

He runs his hand through my hair,

Tells me it’d be okay.

I laugh cause I just know,

That it was not going to be

Of course there was no pain,

In knowing what wasn’t going to be.

Okay?

Okay.

No, I get it.

It’s the fault in my stars.

Will I ever get out of this suffering?

I don’t think I ever will.

Just because I’m Alaska Young?

Is that why there’s so much suffering?

Miles Halter makes everything so easy,

Straight and fast.

Yeah,straight and fast.

Sipping straight on strawberry whiskey-

My head resting on his shoulder,

The truth untold got told.

And all he did was stare.

Norms are getting really under me;

As if it even matters anymore.

I opened his door and all I did was cry,

To be continued, I had said.

Until white daisies bid me goodbye.

How could I ever forget?

What I had done?

No, I just couldn’t.

I’ll remember you, I told him;

Nevertheless what happens.

I drove and I drove-

Until I saw flashing lights

I remembered to swerve,

But I just didn’t.

Cause there was only one thing in my mind;

Straight and fast.

This is how I end, I thought.

No one will ever remember me,

Straight and fast.

But Miles? What about him?

What about the thing that was to be continued?

I don’t get what to do,

Just want to exit this labyrinth.

Straight and fast.

As I crashed to floor,

Blood pooling around me;

Zero point two four in my blood,

Blood-stained daisies-

My life before my eyes.

All I could see was him;

Crying at my gravestone.

But I had done it.

Straight and fast.

It’s finally over, I told myself.

The suffering’s over.

It’s done. It’s done.

I’m sorry Miles, I’m terribly sorry.

As she lay on the highway,

Just another dead human.

Out of this labyrinth.

Straight and fast.

@johngreenwritesbooks

Away from the city

Whether it be day or night, cities keep buzzing with those melodramatic and exaggerated city sounds, which keep ringing like a drone all around the year. And getting away from those sounds, to be honest, is a luxury. This year, I traveled to Goa, in western India, and completely drenched in that luxury.

It was a four-day trip, and I traveled with my family and some of my friends. Even from the airplane window, the city seemed to be bursting with tranquility. The palm-tree lined streets were absolutely postcard-perfect. We delved deeper into the city and met the annoyingly amiable native people and we explored the local markets. There was a lot to buy, ranging from shell art to authentic Goanese dresses. The entire city was a labyrinth of tree-lined streets.

I had never been to a cruise before, so, this time, I seized my opportunity. The cruise had us dancing, singing, and getting to know a lot about Goan customs. We paid a visit to the Basilica of Bom Jesus, a UNESCO World Heritage Site which was elegantly built, and I could easily feel the Portuguese influence. We got to see the incorruptible body of St. Francis Xavier- which was over 450 years old. All around Goa, the architectural styles were one of the most elegant styles that I had seen in my life. The Aguada Fort on the
Sinquerim Beach, is a high fort overlooking the sapphire-blue waters of the Arabian Sea. It was a rocky climb up, but the view was panoramic and picturesque.

The beaches? Whether it’s tranquility and quiet or adrenaline-infused adventure, the Goa beaches offer almost everything we want. The beaches were the main places of attraction for me. The sapphire-blue waters stretched as far as the eye could see, and the white sand housed it’s own treasure – shells of different shape, size and color. The sunsets were breathtakingly beautiful-it sinks into the ocean like a bright orange lollipop. There were several beach shacks which offered food and drinks. The serenity of the beach made me want to stay there all day!

The food? There’s only one word for it. Scrumptious. There was this one place where we went-The Fisherman’s Wharf. It was a quaint little place by the riverside, which served Goan seafood and also hosted live-music shows. The food was impeccable and so was the entertainment. We sang along to the songs-it was a happiness that we would never forget.

This trip was a relaxing and freshening experience for all of us. The sea sounds followed us to our hometown, there was still sand in our pockets and salt in our hair. This was an experience that I will remember for the rest of my life.

My tombstone (Part I)

There’s nothing for her to hold onto,

She’s gone with the wind, gone with the snow-

Barely even there, she’s slowly fading-

No-one noticed, but she’s still there.

Waiting for something to happen,

The world’s going against her

But she’s full of gallantry, and she’s fighting back,

Through her eyes it’s a world of pain, a world of red and remorse.

She’s wishing and hoping and praying;

That tomorrow’s going to be better than today.

Took time, but she got up.

She’s dancing on her own,

Adorned by the moonlight.

And then she stands out-

Slowly but steady.

She asked him,

What will be written on my tombstone?